Just finished Wind in the Willows. Go read it please.

I just finished reading Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame, and its probably one of my top five books of all time. 

    For a long while I thought I just wasn't into books anymore, because I don't like reading YA or "adult people books". I guess I kind of forgot that I could just read literally anything else LMAO. So after going through a multi year reading drought (I'm not counting manga, or comics, because they really are mostly pictures. Not sorry.) I just said fuck it, and started reading children's books again. Specifically older books with length and some complexity. Honestly it has me reading almost as much as I used to when I was a kid.

    I like fantasy, but all the YA fantasy I came across was so boiled chicken dry I couldn't do it. There is a severe lack of whimsy + I don't like books about sexy werewolves/elves/vampires/demigod fighting over a self insert white girl. Also there's a weird "Don't say Zombie" problem where the fantasy mfers are all vampyrs (2 syllables) and fæfollk. I can't stand that shit. Like please stop trying to force uniqueness in your marketable romantasy, we all know you demons are skimming the book for the sex parts anyway. 

    Lmao back on topic. I like nice things with animal characters so I guess it was natural that I'd find Wind in the Willows eventually. I don't remember if I found the animated version on YouTube first while watching Little Bear, or on Pinterest. I've seen the book cover with Pan above the title thought it looked cool, then eventually I made a Pinterest board full of Beatrix Potter, Winnie the Pooh, Calico Critters, and stuff like that, so illustrations from the book started coming up. And I have to say, the illustrations are GREAT. Like there have been plenty of different illustrators (old book) and honestly, they're all really well done. So once I hit this year's "I need to read more books" kick, I knew what I was reading first. 

WARNING! There will be some spoilers past the jump so be alert.

New Video: Gen Z stare

I finally uploaded to my YouTube channel. I'm trying out a minimal editing approach because I lowkey hate editing my vids. Go watch it!!!

But yeah, like I was saying in the video, people in 2025 are just ridiculously rude. Idk if was the pandemic preventing these types of people from getting hit in the mouth for acting this way in public, or what, but the Regina George wannabe bullshit needs to gtfo. 

Way too many people think that, because they can be their own one-man paparazzi on the internet, that they can terrorize the general populace with their diva complex. Like, you're not a celebrity, you're a sociopath, borderline delusional, and completely insane.

I mentioned that case with the lady who shot her manager, because she thought she was "out of pocket", because the manager sent her home twice in 2 days. 

Like you really can't tolerate rejection THAT BAD, that you KILLED somebody? Over a job? At McDonald's?

Was the clown fuckin you? was the Ronald Mc D good? Cuz there ain't no fuckin way that you stab some lady MULTIPLE TIMES over some mid ass McDonald's pay. Go apply for Burger King. And come to find out, she finna get hit with a premeditated murder charge because she FILMED HERSELF CRASHING OUT ON TIKTOK. Making threats!

Another (way less insane) example, some years back this Starbucks barista on TikTok made this dumb post talking about "Get ready with me to make this man his milk shake at 7am." with the nastiest attitude ever. JUST PUT THE FRIES IN THE BAG, BECKY! GET OFF THE CROSS! She really posted that shit like people would agree with her. Everybody in the comments was flaming her. Stay in your lane, and run bro his Mocha-Frappe-Fucking-Whatever, with his 3 shots of heart attack juice, 7.25$ Regina George. 

The cognitive dissonance of people with a grandiose sense of self, and cog in the machine lives, needs to be studied.

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Movie live reaction notes

 I like horror movies. So when I write, I like to write horror stuff. I've taken to writing out note while I watch so I can keep more ideas, and in general study more horror.

Here are the notes I jotted while watching Phenomena.

Movie notes

Phenomena, Dario Argento

never before seen

Bus in the swiss alps okayyyy. DAMN this bih got left!!! they dgaf about anything. and its getting dark.

TITLE CARRRRRDDD

Teenagers are weirdos

You know that artist dude PiroPito(nana825763)? I know you do, I understand my target audience, you're like me most likely. If you somehow don't this is his channel. 

Anyway, as you probably know, he's very talented, and therefore pretty popular. He's been on YouTube for a very long time and has produced many niche horror internet classics such as Username 666, PokoPoko shopping, Cooking idol, and the like. Piro for most of his internet existence has been a mysterious figure who showed up to show his art and his ants. Faceless and nameless like many Japanese creators from a previous era.

However sometime during the pandemic he started playing Minecraft and posting that to his channel. Honestly it was fun seeing a casual new side to a person who had existed in mystery for like 10 years. His channel started growing fast and he even began making a horror game and streaming the BTS process.

The regular and open content from a person who used to be a total mystery to the American audience made him insanely popular over time and the pandemic probably had a lot to do with it.

I'm glad he's doing well online, but I can't ignore the type of people his content has attracted. There are way too many tiktok teenagers thinking this dude is a super artsy cool alt idol figure. The type of unstable kids who worship Kikuo and other "weirdcore" horror aesthetic shit. 

Like he's really good at art and atmosphere, but ultimately he's just an older Japanese guy with obscure media tastes and inspirations. An artist, not a tiktok star with a curated personality.

I worry about the American fans that linger in his livestreams asking annoying starry-eyed teenager questions, borderline interrogating him on all his quirky facts like he's some underground idol. It's gotten to a point where he has a huge FAQ thing in the description of all his live streams, because people asking him what kinds of music and movies he liked OVER and OVER. Let him breath!!! I'm writing as I watch his stream and there's a 3 minute slow mode enabled because people fangirl out so much.

And teenagers are painfully transparent even when they try not to be. You can plainly see that the media questions are just "PIROPITO SAN <33 DO YOU KNOW ABOUT (totally not my personal favorite metal band)??? LOVE YOUR WORK!!!" and fishing to see if he has similar esoteric alt not-like-the-other-girls anti-normie tastes.

the average black eye contact girl  

If it was questions about art and the techniques, asking lots would be calm, but it's all idol fansite questions. It's uncomfortable as viewer so as the target it has to suck.

My even bigger worry is that these sort of  mentally unstable audiences tend to be really fickle and vindictive. Think about how many internet horror creators had their fanbases blow up in their face because one of them got irrational and made up a strange rumor and the rest believed it because they're all 14? It makes me nervous.

edit: self fulfilling prophecy

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sighing, rambling

Sometimes (a lot of times) I think about switching my whole "persona" (as if I really have one haha) and the aesthetic branding of the blog and YouTube and stuff. But honestly trying to overhaul everything would be really annoying. Besides, I can't change the URL of this blog page anyway.

Sigh. 

Although I cycle through the stuff I like every 3 months or so, so keeping it "up to date" would just be a drag. Blah Blah. TBH I spend a lot of my time bored, thinking about videos that I never wind up making. I also used to film a lot of videos that I never feel like finishing.

Most recently, I filmed a little "catch up" type video. Not much of a "catch up" though because I never have too much to say. However I had also been doing some crafts and spoke about that a bit. I didn't finish editing. No point to, it wasn't interesting enough to even want to finish.

I'll probably rework it into a more craft centric one when I finish what I was working on. I don't feel like working on it though.

It was my sister's birthday Saturday. The few friends she invited cancelled on her. Even the girl who my sister went across the country for her birthday trip with. It was so depressing. Why do modern day people flake out on plans so much? We decorated and celebrated ourselves Sunday. My mom even made a really cool cake that looked like a candle. 

Wednesday is me and my boyfriend's anniversary and we still don't have plans. How annoying. Honestly making plans for anything between us is kind of a pain because he's the type who if left alone would sit in his room all day. Doesn't really like much. I guess that's just one of the pains of Gen Z society. If people aren't pretending to like things for a tiktok persona, they just sit around hobbyless.

BORN TO DIE

WORLD IS A FUCK

苺 Kill Em All 2004

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